Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Struggling, but not in the way you probably think

So today has been a real doozie.  Basically an emotional roller coaster that I would REALLY like to get off of!  And it has nothing to do with diet or exercise.  In fact that part is not even really on my mind.  I mean don't get me wrong, I would have totally have rather had pizza tonight for dinner but I made a healthy choice instead.  And I am good with that.  However, I have discovered I am in constant need of other people's approval or affection or just a thank-you every now and then would be awesome.  I even find myself going out of my way to do things for people in my life just so they will say thanks.  Ugh, no clue when I got this way because I sure as hell don't remember needing other people's approval like this before.  And it has nothing to do with this weight loss journey, or at least I don't think.  I didn't start out on this journey for anyone but myself.  No one told me to get skinny although plenty of people have called me fat over my lifetime.  Maybe it goes back to that and really wanting to please people that I feel like I have never impressed before.  Maybe I am just nuts.  Anyhow, I just needed to say it, get it out, so that is what I did.  Tomorrow is weigh-in day, I have to say I am not even excited.  I will try to remember to post, no matter what the number says.   

2 comments:

  1. I am a fellow people pleaser myself and I don't love that about me. I think it's great to do nice things for people but when you are doing that to the detriment of yourself then that's not so great. I hope this comes across the right way....I think you need to be more selfish. Selfish in that instead of looking for someone else to tell you how great you are...YOU tell yourself how great you are. YOU make sure YOU approve of and are pleased with what you are doing. Not sure selfish is the right word but I definitely think you need to put your self first and start loving yourself and others will follow and if they don't then you don't need them in your life.
    Wow this sounds super preachy and pretty sure I need to be telling this comment to myself!
    Good Luck on your weigh-in! No matter what the number YOU are AWESOME!

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  2. How are you doing?? Still checking in on you and hope your doing okay!

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